Submit to the Dominatrix (Mistress La Fay)

Dear Mistress,
As a busy metrasexual I'm always worried about what to wear. I've heard that my socks should always match my t-shirt and underwear. But wearing fuchsia socks clashes with all my favorite shoes. What do you suggest? - - Humble Servant

Humble Servant,
My suggestion - put on some leather, get a good flogging, maybe a little wax play and you'll forget all about your petty concern of matching fuchsia with your shoes. Now thank me for such a wonderful answer!

Dear Mistress,
Why are there so many different types of pain relievers? Are there any reasons that I can't take plain old aspirin?
- Painfully Confused

Confused,
I will answer this in two sections, since it is a two-part question.
First of all, different kinks require different treatments. For example:

• Regular strength for the weekend player
• Extra strength for amateurs
• Extra strength PM for amateur dreamers
• Midol for the periodical player
• Topical (Sports Crème, Ben-Gay, etc.) for the touchy-feely players
• REAL masochists don't need anything at all.

Dear Mistress,
How do you gap a spark plug?
- Grease Monkey

Greasy,
Order the mechanic to do it, and flog him until he gets it right.

Dear Mistress,
I had my tonsils removed as a kid; didn't I need them for something?
- Worried About My Parts

Parts,
A proper submissive realizes that having tonsils (especially swollen tonsils) can get in the way of many things, such as the rare occasion that Mistress decides to feed you, Strap-on training or getting a proper fit on a collar

Dear Mistress,
What's the best thing to do for a sore back?
- billy

Billy, Obey your Mistress better. Other than that, I've always found that a good, heavy flogging works wonders on getting out the knots in back muscles.

Dear Mistress,
Why doesn't the smell of my own armpits bother me?
- Stinky hippy

Stinky,
First of all, if you showered daily there would be NO smell. Secondly, your nose should be under Mistress's boot instead of in your own armpit.